9.21.2005

Wireless internet, ingenuity, sex appeal and a partner in crime = solution to any problem!

There was a brief moment a couple of Sundays ago when Viola and I were paralyzed due to a misplaced cell phone. Frozen on the corner of 18th and Florida, debating if we should hop a cab, run back home, or search for our friend in the masses convening to celebrate Adams Morgan day, we silently racked our brains. We needed to reach Triangle, but Viola's cell phone was the sole place where Triangle's number was stored. Unfortunately, no major telecommunications company has figured out or approached regulators for permission to create a 411 directory for cell phone owners.

It was an absolutely beautiful day and we weren't going to let this small set-back keep us from finding Triangle. A plan began to form, but we needed some supplies: an internet connection and computer or some type of web-surfing device. As much as we would probably volunteer to be human wireless access points, it was something we could not deal with at the moment.

18th street certainly has bars, but it's also home to three coffee shops - all offering wireless internet access. Stellar. One component down. Now, we needed to find a computer. This also meant we needed to convince the computer's operator that our cause was just and we would only need five teeny minutes of someone's time.

Follow these simple directions and if you ever need something that is only accessible via email, but you find that you have no computer, no internet access, no hope - DO NOT FEEL DESPAIR - TAKE ACTION!!!
*Note: apply lip gloss before approaching victim
**Note: females - only approach males

Destination: Caribou Coffee Victim: Slightly overweight white male, approximate age: 27-32

Execution Line: "We are so sorry to disturb you, but we have run into a slight snafu involving a mis-placed cell phone. Could we use your computer for five minutes to access our friend's cell number?"

If Victim hesitates, offer to purchase the Victim a luring treat (coffee drink, danish, whatever floats victim's boat)

I wish I could say our operation only took five minutes, but it was realistically more like 15 minutes. We selected a more "savvy" surfer (just our luck) that prevented a timely and smooth fact finding mission. However, once we finally accessed the key information, we were on our way to contacting Triangle and making a sticky situation a successful adventure.

Mission Accomplished with only the following loss: $5 towards fatty's latte for computer use

2 Comments:

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1:00 PM  
Blogger Dude said...

Hey, interesting post! I've bookmarked your blog and will be reading it regularly.

By the way, did you hear today that Starbucks' long march into China has breached the Great Wall itself? Tourists will be able to drink cappuccino, frappuccino and other coffee concoctions at one of China's greatest cultural treasures after Starbucks announced it had opened a shop at Badaling. Amazing!

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1:04 PM  

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