An Ode to White Zinfandel
by G.J. Pitre

Zinfandel! The grape delicious!
Goes fine with meats! Ain't bad with fishes!

Of all the produce of the vine
Is there another half as fine?

So order up a glass of blush
And feel the mighty sugar rush!

‘Cuz who needs tannins, notes of peat?
Just gimme something super-sweet!

The only wine that, should you call
The Kool-Aid Guy busts through the wall.

Other wines may rot your brain
And put your liver under strain

But only one of them, my sweeties,
Will guarantee you diabetes

So next time you sit down to dine
And hanker for a glass of wine

Don’t hesitate, or stop to think
Just order up the one that’s pink.

"May I present your wine, dear sir?
The Oh-Five, House of Berenger."

Enjoy it, every cloying sip…
…and don’t forget my fucking tip.